Bitch&Moan: Commercials that make me squirm.

Hey there, kids! It's time for Bitch&Moan, where I rant for approximately 500 words about something that bothers me. It's guaranteed to be 100% frivolous, 97.637% of the time.

This week: Awful commercials

Sometimes gifts come in strange packaging....like ideas (or some other strange, slightly nonsensical proverb).

My gift came today while I was watching an episdode of 'Community' on NBC, wrapped in the finest of squirmy commercial badness. As soon as I saw it, I knew: "I must write about this so my friend/adopted twin Madison can maybe read about it one day when she's bored!" And so "Bitch&Moan" was born.

The Offenders:

1. Target

Picture this: a family gathered around a living room floor opening Christmas presents! Mom opens a giant present only to find.....a big, brand-new flat screen TV! Hooray? Not quite. The mom and dad then proceed to have a strained, thinly veiled argument about finances right in front of the kids, complete with creepy, forced smiles and all. Some people have pointed out that the commercial is realistic. Yes, because that's what we all rely on commercials for: to paint a scathing picture of society's flaws and expose us for what we really are.



Seriously, Target? Yeah, I get it, we all get: we're in a recession. Don't need to be reminded every four and a half minutes by your depressing failure of a commercial. This is especially disappointing coming from you, my bulls-eye beloved, as I'm a fan of your store and all of your other cutesy commercial sets.

2. Levi's Jeans

Every time this commercial comes on, I have to turn away. Why? Because I fear that if I watch the whole thing, I'll wake up in the morning and have a strange desire to join an obscure, new-age cult. If this thing isn't loaded with subliminal messages, I don't know what is.




I heard somewhere that one of the commercials has an original wax recording of Walt Whitman's voice. Very cool? Yes. Appropriate for a jeans commercial? Not one bit. It's not like this company hasn't produced good commercials, either- I was kind of in love with their "501 First Time" commercial. I'm not quite sure what they were aiming for with the "Pioneer" set, but this surely missed the mark.


3. Secret Deodorant

This commercial has a modern woman walking around the city, doing what modern women do....which is apparently smelling their pits and annoying the crap out of good, hard working cityfolk. Observe.




Thank God this isn't on TV anymore. I cannot begin to tell you how genuinely angry this commercial makes me. I especially feel for that poor taxi driver, who stops, probably thinking, "Hey, maybe this is a long distance trip! Maybe I'll make a little extra to bring home for my family tonight!" Nope. Sorry, man. Apparently she stopped you to let you know that she feels her two legs are superior to your transportation services.

Hey, Mr. Taxi Man- I've got a secret for you. This lady is a d-bag.

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Well, folks- that's it for this edition of B&M! I think we all learned a lot today.

Namely, that I watch FAR too much television.

Back in business....

It's been a slow day.

Then again, getting back into swing is difficult after such a pleasant Thanksgiving break. I like to quell the guilt that stems from my procrastination by working on projects that are maybe not as pressing as studying for my sociology exam next week, but equally as important in the grand scheme of things.

For example, my acting pursuits. If I'm looking to get back on board with it, I know I have to get serious. And that is why I have spent the day looking up Orlando/Tampa Bay based headshot photographers, remodeling my website (that's http://www.angelemaraj.co.nr ......in case you kids were curious), and working on setting up an appointment with Professor John Shafer to talk about adding on Theater Studies as a double major.

Whew, right? I figured I deserved a break from all of my "substitution work" and so treated myself to the ultimate dinner: PB&J with Earl Grey Tea, followed by a Warm Delights mini-brownie which I will make for myself now.

And now I'll treat you for reading......with this insanely cute video of a kitten. You're welcome.

A Cappell-ove

Ah, Hawaiian Chicken BBQ pizza....how I love you so. :) And of course there is some left over, which means: cold pizza for breakfast! If I'd done a top 6 of college foods, that would definitely be on there.

But how easily I am distracted. More to the point:

This past weekend I had the amazing opportunity of attending the SJACF at DU in NC with the UCF CAC (the SoJam A Cappella Festival at Duke University in North Carolina with the University of Central Florida Contemporary A Capella group. See how much simpler acronyms make everything seem?) It was an extremely enlightening weekend that not only allowed me to bond with my fellow CACers, but also gave me the opportunity to get more acquainted with the amazing a cappella world. Some noteable (tee-hee!) points that I urge you all to check out:

* Mouth Off!

- A weekly podcast that brings you all of the latest from the a capella world. Hosted by Dave Brown and Christopher Diaz (who I was able to take a movement workshop with- amazing!), it is, and I quote: "From news to reviews to personal views, Dave Brown and Christopher Diaz dish it out every week with characteristic sarcasm and wit. Don’t miss a single episode!" They said it all, folks. Get your podcast on.

* The House Jacks

-Oh. My. GOD. These guys are.....beyond amazing. I got to see them in concert- one of the perks of SoJam- and I can say that I did not mind missing out on T-Pain to get to see them instead one bit. The things that these men can do with their voices.....it's ridiculous, and ridiculously good. Please, please, please take the time to check them out. You won't regret it.

* Courtney Jensen

Okay, so she doesn't have a website (as far as I can tell), but that doesn't make her any less awesome. I took two workshops with Courtney: Vocal Percussion and LADY POWER!; that was all it took for me to decide that I basically wanted to be her. This girl....excuse me, woman- has the SICKEST beatboxing skills I have ever heard. She puts many, many men around the same age and experience level to shame. Even though she doesn't know it, her workshops have inspired me to take up beatboxing and add it to my life list. I will practice the hell out of it, mark my words. Look her up on Facebook and check out her super-helpful "percussing" videos. Courtney is a member of Brigham Young University's Noteworthy.

And, of course, here is the SoJam website:

http://www.sojam.net/

Ah. Alas, I'm tired. Seriously, though- check this stuff out! I promise you, it's more awesome than you can imagine.

More on something else later.

UCF: Unforgiving, Callous Foundation?

Okay, the F=Foundation is a stretch. But the only other F word I could think of that is appropriate to the situation is....let's put it this way- not one you'd find on cable TV.

Photo credit: Caitlin Bush, Central Florida Future

I read a story by Renita Frett in the Central Florida Future today that really bothered me. A UCF student by the name of Nick Szepelak has been put on academic probation as a result of....wait for it...... attending his mother's funeral. His mother passed away from Lou Gehrig's disease in the spring semester. While he managed to finish his spring courses, the funeral was planned for July 1st, and he was enrolled in two classes for the Summer C term. He had already passed the withdrawal date for Summer C, and when he let his professors know he was leaving for a week to be with his family, they "instructed him to try and keep up through e-mail." Understandably, it was difficult for him to do so during that time and he fell behind. He applied for late withdrawal, but since he wouldn't receive the decision until after the term was over, he tried to finish the courses and take his final.

His request for late withdrawal was denied, his appeal was denied because there was "no new evidence," and now he is facing academic probation because he had to use his grade forgiveness for the two courses he was not allowed to drop.

To quote from the article: "“No one has talked to me on a personal level about it. It all has been ‘Fill out this form,’” Szepelak said."

It is this kind of lack of compassion or understanding for personal situations that give state universities like UCF the bad reputation of being massive, faceless, and often ineffective bureaucracies. A coordinator for academic support claimed that he never came to ask them for advice- but during the time that this was happening, he was dealing with his mother's death and being shuffled around and told to fill out form after form. I don't exactly fault him for not running all over the place to ask for more advice when the advice he was already receiving from the university kept leading to dead ends.

The approach that the university has taken to this case is ridiculous and completely insensitive. Things don't even work like this in most professional situations: employees, in most (if not all) cases are given time off in the case of the death of a close family member.

Most disturbing to me is the idea that UCF did not want to let him drop the courses possibly because they did not want to refund him the money for those courses, even though the student said that a refund was not necessary.

This is a gross lack of compassion and empathy on the part of UCF's Admission and Standards committee, and I'm just glad to see that the Central Florida Future is using its front page to actually bring light to a legitimate injustice.

Here is a link to the article:

Student went to funeral, put on academic probation

...and a link to a well-written opinion piece on the subject:

Our Stance: Grief warrants grade forgiveness

Nikki Blonsky is one cool chick.

Nikki Blonsky, best known for her role as Tracy Turnblad in the hit movie-musical Hairspray, stopped by the University of Central Florida today to give an inspiring speech and do a meet-and-greet with students.

In the speech, she talked about life before, during, and after Hairspray, including some harrowing family events that many members of the audience were surely shocked to hear. She described her relationship with her late grandmother and uncle, following her passion and getting to play her dream role, and the hectic life of the big screen and beyond. She then had a Q&A with students, and even gave a wonderful impromptu performance of "Good Morning, Baltimore".

"I hope that when you leave here, you think of me as 'my friend Nikki Blonsky,' instead of just 'Nikki Blonsky, that girl from Hairspray!'" expressed the star.

I personally really enjoyed getting to hear from (and ask a question of!) this talented and clearly very strong young woman. She was gracious and funny and gave some really personal insight into her life, which I really appreciated. I wish her the best in her life and future career, and I hope that she has a fantastic 21st birthday (November 9th)! Hopefully the hardworking UCF CAB will continue to book awesome guest speakers like Ms. Blonsky.

I'm looking forward to SoJam in North Carolina this weekend with CAC (Contemporary A Capella) and homecoming next week! Will I participate in the traditional "Spirit Splash" this year with the inevitable pool of diseases it allows for?

Only time and possible illness will tell, folks.

College foods....a first top 5.

Photo Credit: ~ReducedExposure, DeviantArt

I've been at the University of Central Florida for 3 months now, and I'm really starting to get the hang of this college thing. Today, while chowing down on a Lean Pocket, I thought of the various college foods that I consume on a daily basis.

Sure, everyone tells you about Ramen noodles, but one can only ingest so many cheap, egg-based noodles before sickness occurs. I've compiled a list of my top 5 other 'dorm foods'; some well-known, some a little on the creative side, and some that many people I know (including my roommate) find just plain odd and borderline disgusting (yeah, I have weird taste sometimes.) But it's good to try new things, right? Right.

1. Hot Pockets/Lean Pockets

If you live in a dorm and this is not a staple of your diet, you're missing out. Seriously. There is so much variety: spinach artichoke chicken, santa fe breakfast quesdilla, cheeseburger, philly cheesesteak, and even broccoli and cheese and three cheese pizza for you vegetarians. I'm convinced there is a secret line of gourmet hot pockets for the elite; you know, filled with caviar and foie gras and escargot and the like. Plus, they come with those awesome crisper sleeves, which is a godsend for those students like me who don't have regular access to a stove or a toaster. Just make sure that your freezer works well with a low enough temperature, because nobody likes a soggy hot pocket (I am aware that what I just said gives way to a really disgusting 'that's what she said'.)

2. Easy Mac

Come on. It's like the better alternative to Ramen. Water, stir, microwave, enjoy. What more do you need, really? And if you're lazy about washing dishes (like me) then you can buy the ones that come in a prepackaged bowl for easy disposal.

3. Tuna

Everyone knows that tuna is easy and cheap, much like your mother, possibly. But sometimes you want a little more variety than just slapping some mayonnaise, relish, and tuna on sandwich bread. Here's where it gets a little weird. Two words, my friends: Raisin Bran. I know what you're thinking: what drugs are you on, exactly, and where can I get my hands on some? Well, that's a discussion for another blog. As for the Raisin Bran, it makes sense. Think about some chicken salads that are sold at your local deli. They may often be garnished with raisins or grapes or some type of fruit.....and bran is really just like little slices of bread, right? Right. The results are possibly visually disturbing, but delicious. Just make sure and have some consideration- wipe up the sink or whatever after you're finished making the tuna and maybe spray a little Febreze, because nothing is more disgusting than coming home from class and being slapped in the face with the odor of canned fish.

4. Warm Delights

Oh. My. God. I discovered these little beauties about a month ago and I haven't looked back. It is really difficult to get your hands on fresh baked brownies when you have to walk across campus to even come close to finding a stove; this is as close as you're gonna get, and believe me, it is DAMN good. They even come in little 100 calorie sizes for you health/weight conscious people. You just mix in two teaspoons of water, stir, pop it in the microwave, and BAM! Instant chocolate fix. *Note: the microwave brownies do not come in "special" flavor....unfortunately.

5. Spaghetti

I am a pasta freak. I love, love, love spaghetti. I think it goes back to elementary school, where we had Friday Fundays and lunch was always homemade spaghetti, crisp garlic bread, and a little brownie. But I digress. There IS a way to make spaghetti (and rice and steamed vegetables, for that matter) in the microwave. It is this lovely little plastic invention I got from Target called the microwave rice cooker by NordicWare. I'm not sure how accurate a brand name this is for a microwaver rice/pasta cooker. First of all, their little logo is a viking. I'm not sure the vikings had need for a plastic pasta cooker considering that they didn't have microwaves. Hell, they didn't have plastic. Did they even have pasta? But again, I digress. Basically, this invention is awesome, it costs 8 bucks, and it allows you to make actual meals with minimal effort. I used it to make chipotle season chicken, steamed asian medley vegetable, and black beans on basmati rice, and it took me like 20 minutes.

Wow. This was fun! I think I'll continue doing little top 5s of college/dorm advice. I'm learning a lot as a freshman. Next up: 5 ways to cope with freshman year insomnia.

-Angele

"That was so bad I think you gave me cancer!"

Haha. So, some people will probably jump on me for this one, but I definitely think that 'Futurama' is far superior to 'The Simpsons'. It's a perfect mix of lowbrow and nerd humor, and that is why I am SO excited that it's been renewed for brand new episodes, a renewal that has been long overdue. I can't wait! I really want the box set- you know, the one with all seasons including all four movies? Too ambitious for an 18th birthday request? I hope not. :)

I feel good about life right now. I have (hopefully) all of the classes I want for fall at UCF plus the basic stuff I need for my dorm, I'm possibly going to visit my cousins up north before I move to Orlando, I am finally managing to save money (slowly, haha, but surely), and I'm oddly optimistic about my personal, academic, and professional life. Maybe it's the fact that my calendar is so full, and I'm looking forward to everything that I have written in for the next two months. I'm always happy when I'm out of the house and doing something that feels worthwhile.

Anyway, I should probably go to bed. I have to go shopping tomorrow for more dorm stuff and clothes.

Fourth of July in a week and a possible party; that is, assuming I get my work around the house done. I'm looking forward to it. If anything, it will be entertaining. :)

I wrote a poem.

Don't get me wrong: I'm no poet. I am quite good at writing ridiculous, moderately funny, rhymey things, but I would never call those poetry.

This, however, I might. I'm actually pretty proud of it. I was struck by a sudden inspiration about a week ago and just started writing. I should probably note before I post it that I am a huge fan of e.e. cummings - anyone already familiar with him will definitely see the influence.

So, here goes:


my Heart resides with You

my Heart resides with You
whether You want Her
Or not.
i call Her back; She will not come
She prefers the home You give Her:
soft hands are the foundation
sweet nothings (everythings?
are in the walls
a comfortable everything
)nothing?
silence creates Her shelter

my Heart resides with You
whether i want her to
or not
(please, be careful with your
everythingnothings)
for She is new
and i fear She cannot bear to be
bro- (uhoh)
-ken (toolate.)

-angele maraj.

First Post.

So, I'm not really good with blogs, or journals, or diaries, or anything like that. At least not in terms of timeliness.....I've never been a regular poster/writer. But I figure, "Hey, I'm going off to college in two months or so - what better way to keep in touch and let people know what's going on with me?"

Plus, you know, I like writing. So there's that. I'm not going to introduce myself, because I'm assuming that if you're reading this, you know me. If you don't, then here's what you get:

"Hey. I'm Angele."

And so it begins. :)