Anyone who knows me knows that I have a penchant for making lists.
It's one of my absolute favorite things to do to pass the time...and few things bring me greater joy than checking something off of a list. Whenever I hear a great new song, I add it to my music to buy (or, you know, "buy") list. Just 2 minutes ago I was in the middle of creating a list of groceries/things to buy for when I head back to the dorms. And then there is, of course, my life list- various activities and goals that I create to remind myself to count, as Abraham Lincoln put it, not the years in my life but "the life in [my] years."
Of course, to every positive, there is a negative. Not all lists can consist of good things. And so, seeing it as fit for the times, I present to you:
The Top 4 New Year's Resolutions That I Will Likely Fail to Follow Through On, Only To Try Again Next Year (And Fail, Again)
1. Read all of those classic books that everyone is supposed to read.
Everyone likes to seem smart. God knows I do. That's why I spend countless hours on Wikipedia (or as I like to call it, "The Brain Trust for Common Folk"). But free information on a literary work, compiled by a 15 year old from Wisconsin with too much time on their hands, will only take you so far. Sometimes it's not enough to seem. Sometimes you have to be- and that requires effort.
Now, I'm quite the bookworm; however, something about "the classics" generally rubs me the wrong way. To Jane Eyre I say, "Bah." To The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, "Pshaw." And I'm almost sure that I'd rather be swallowed whole by a whale than take another stab at Moby Dick.
There are exceptions. I adored The Great Gatsby. Brave New World is one of my favorite books. But both of these books were ones that I got around to thanks to school assignments- no more of those in college. And for every Gatsby there is a Moby Dick- that's enough to discourage me from delving into the unknown on my own, without a semester grade at stake.
So just like all of the years before, I will go at this with great fervor. That is, until I head to the library only to discover that I owe $21.98 in fines. After all, I'm broke.....and Wikipedia is free.
2. Eat healthier, and get some exercise.
This goal gets more difficult with every passing year. Now that I'm in college, I have a multitude of excuses for why I cannot complete this goal. "I'm poor- I can't afford healthy food." "I'm too busy studying (haha) to find time to exercise!" "All I have is a microwave and a mini-fridge - how can I cook healthily with just that?" "Everyone expects the freshman 15, so it's no big deal."
The truth is that I'm just lazy, and I really enjoy both sitting on my ass and consuming the junkiest of foods.
However, I don't enjoy the feeling of that extra 5 pounds I can feel slowly creeping its way onto my frame. So I will muster up some optimism and try this one again. That grocery list I talked about earlier was one to help me work at this goal. Let's hope it helps.
3. Stop procrastinating
This entire post is about how I'll probably put all of these goals off until next year. 'Nuff said.
4. Sleep like a normal person
It's 5:27 AM as I type this- so technically I've failed just three days in. But, think of this way- had I gone to sleep, my many (two or three) loyal readers would never have gotten to experience the joy of this post. You see the sacrifices I make for you? And I ask for nothing in return. Guess I can check "be more selfless" off of the list.
So, yes, this list may be negative. But I, the eternal optimist, refuse to let it get me down. I will try my hardest to follow through with these seemingly elusive resolutions. And if I don't?
Well, hey- there's always next year, right?
